Among the Fenlanders, as among the inhabitants of Britannia generally, there is worshipped a goddess Carboot, whom I take to be the Gaulish Proserpina, for her festival begins in Spring, about the time of the vernal equinox, and persists until summer ends, when she must return to Pluto, her husband.
At this time, when the forefathers of the Britons used to celebrate Eostre, there arrive many painted wains that travel the rutted lanes and gather in sacred groves outside the towns. And the townsfolk arise before dawn and scrub their faces and dress themselves in sportswear and make their way to this grove while the dew is still upon the grass. There they pay cult to the goddess in this fashion.
The drivers of the wains open up the backs of their vehicles and display the sacred objects of Carboot upon folding tables or woven rugs upon the ground. And these objects are known in the British tongue as "Tat".
Now the vendors of this Tat are the most wily of all the Britons, for they seek to dispose of many items that have become burdensome to them during the winter months, such as compositions by bards whose muse has long since departed, kitchen utensils that were gifted to them at the start of their marriages or video games such as their sons once played long ago in their youth.
I spoke to one of the worshippers and asked why is it that they buy this Tat, for the homes of all the Britons are bedecked with such items already and each man perceives himself to own an excess of them, but cannot part with them (the reason for this is a sacred mystery which I know but shall not relate)?
And the celebrant replied, " O Stranger, know you not that among the Tat the goddess places treasures of great price that may be discovered by the devout?"
For so it is, that when the worshippers discover the goddess' treasures, they exult and present the treasures to their friends, making much of the few coins that were exchanged in the obtaining thereof. But the vendors beat their breasts and cry "Woe" and wish they had checked the value with EBay (being the name of some oracle) or upon Amazon (but this is unintelligible to me, for the Amazons inhabit distant Scythia, a region which has not yet its sent migrant workers into Britannia).
But this superstition is irrational, for the gifts of the goddess (if such there be) are few and the quantity of Tat is very great and among the Britons who come to worship in this wise there is weariness and great vexation.
And now, enough of Carboot.